Coachability Over Perfection: A Leadership Lesson from the Golf Course

Earlier this year, I stepped away from a 28-year career at my former firm to take on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—serving as the assistant golf coach at my son's high school during his final semester. It was a deeply personal decision, rooted in family and driven by a desire to be fully present during a milestone season in his life.

Now, as a strategic advisor to AEC firms (and part-time golf coach), I’m often struck by how many leadership lessons show up on the course—and how closely they mirror the challenges professionals face in business. This article reflects on a recent coaching moment that revealed one of the most overlooked yet essential traits for emerging leaders: the willingness to ask for help.

This past weekend, I sent a simple message to our eight varsity golf players, each competing for one of six spots in an upcoming tournament:

“If anyone wants help with their short game, I’m available.”

Only one player responded—a 9th grader.

That alone told me a lot about his mindset.

He’s young, eager, and already understands something many emerging leaders and professionals forget:

👉 The power of asking for help.

We spent 90 focused minutes working on his short game. And during the qualifying rounds, I noticed real progress. But I also noticed a familiar trap:

• He was overthinking every putt.

  
  

• He had too many thoughts about mechanics mid-swing.

  
  

• His pace slowed down due to uncertainty—about club choice, shot selection, and self-confidence.

  
  

At one point, I stepped in and told him plainly:

“Relax. You’re overthinking everything and taking too long to execute what you already know is right. Golf isn’t a game of perfect.”

(Thank you, Dr. Bob Rotella.)

And that’s when it hit me:

This is exactly what happens in the AEC industry—every single day.

High-potential professionals, deeply talented, stall out during key pursuits and sales opportunities because of:

• Too many layers of approval

• Too many voices offering conflicting advice

• Too much pressure to get everything exactly right

• Not enough humility to say: “Can you help me with this?”

If there’s one trait that unlocks growth—for both individuals and firms—it’s this:

👊 Be coachable.

👂 Stay curious.

🙋‍♂️ Ask for help.

🤝 Learn from those who’ve done it before.

You don’t need to be perfect.

You need to be open.

As Bob Buford writes in Halftime:

“One of the greatest tragedies of civilization is the transformation that takes place in a person’s attitude. At some point in their schooling process, they pass from childlike eagerness toward learning to a passive resistance toward gaining knowledge.”

Let’s not let that happen to us. Let’s lead with curiosity, not ego. Let’s be unashamed to admit we don’t have all the answers—and courageous enough to learn from others.

Whether you’re a young golfer or a rising design leader, the lesson is the same:

Coachability beats perfection. Every time.

If you're building a team, leading a firm, or stepping into a bigger role and finding yourself stuck in perfection mode—you're not alone. I work with AEC leaders every day to help develop coachable, confident, and high-impact professionals who can execute under pressure and grow sustainably.

If you're ready to unlock growth—for yourself or your team—let’s connect.

Together, we can shift from overthinking to intentional action.